I am struggling big time. I have no time and no motivation. I am working on my second straight 20 hour day, I am eating like shit, and I can't manage to find the time to workout. My weight is fluctuating 6 pounds or so a week. I can't seem to get below 150 and stay there. I have NO will power right now.
I HAVE to start blogging here everyday and keeping myself accountable. However, I seriously don't have time. I am choosing to type here at 10:52 pm instead of either going to bed or finishing the test recovery packet that I need to have done tomorrow.
So far today I have gotten up at 4AM
Went to work at 4:45 AM
Wrote a student notes packet
Made 1000+ copies of all of the packets
Taught all day
Had 2 different meetins during my prep period
Scarfed down my lunch at 9:00AM because I give up my lunch to help students
Had 2 meetings after school
Came home and graded 100+ tests
Wrote a test revision
Ate way too much fucking food
And now I still need to put contact paper on 30 sheets of paper
Write a test recovery packet
And oh yeah...try to get some damn sleep.
I just can't keep doing this. Something has to give and right now it has been exercise and proper eating. I just grab candy to keep me going all day. Yeah...1 year of no junk food and now I am eating like I did before surgery. I know that I have to stop, but I am not certain how I am going to do that.
I have some big decisions to make and some prioritizing to do. And I desperately need to train. I have a half marathon in 1 month!!!!
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4 comments:
You are going to kill yourself. STOP meeting kids at lunch and BREATHE. Don't work, don't tutor...they'll be ok. You however, will not be if you don't start cutting out 20 freakin' minutes a day just to sit, eat well, and clear your head.
i agree ... you are a great teacher, but you cannot let it interfere with taking care of YOU...
dont let yourself slip back into bad habits.
how did you do it last year?
you have done SO well, you can keep doing it!!!
You know, I think you'll be surprised how quickly your fitness gets back up there. I've been thinking recently that I could run a half now with out even doing "official" training and I've only been back exercising for 6 weeks after my injury. Sure, I'd be sore, but I could do it.
You can too.
*hugs*
You aren't doing the kids any favors by not taking care of yourself. You will be a better teacher, more focused and able to explain things more consisely if you take that lunch break to regroup and just think. You don't have to shut down completely but you could take that time to gather your thoughts, jot yourself some notes, and refocus. I know it goes against the "doing something about it" part of teaching but you are doing something.
Oh I worry about you. I've missed you.
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