I need motivation

I am struggling big time. I have no time and no motivation. I am working on my second straight 20 hour day, I am eating like shit, and I can't manage to find the time to workout. My weight is fluctuating 6 pounds or so a week. I can't seem to get below 150 and stay there. I have NO will power right now.

I HAVE to start blogging here everyday and keeping myself accountable. However, I seriously don't have time. I am choosing to type here at 10:52 pm instead of either going to bed or finishing the test recovery packet that I need to have done tomorrow.

So far today I have gotten up at 4AM

Went to work at 4:45 AM
Wrote a student notes packet
Made 1000+ copies of all of the packets
Taught all day
Had 2 different meetins during my prep period
Scarfed down my lunch at 9:00AM because I give up my lunch to help students
Had 2 meetings after school
Came home and graded 100+ tests
Wrote a test revision
Ate way too much fucking food

And now I still need to put contact paper on 30 sheets of paper
Write a test recovery packet
And oh yeah...try to get some damn sleep.

I just can't keep doing this. Something has to give and right now it has been exercise and proper eating. I just grab candy to keep me going all day. Yeah...1 year of no junk food and now I am eating like I did before surgery. I know that I have to stop, but I am not certain how I am going to do that.

I have some big decisions to make and some prioritizing to do. And I desperately need to train. I have a half marathon in 1 month!!!!

Life can be mean

So just as I start to get back in the swing of things...my mother-in-law dies. It has been a terrible ordeal for the last 2 weeks but the outlook of getting back on track seems to be getting closer. I have lost a few of my "found" pounds but the result of the last couple of weeks have derailed the process a bit.

I am continuing to run and exercise and that helps a bit. I took another bereavement day today in order to catch my breath and get caught up at work. Then hopefully tomorrow I will be back to some sense of normalcy. We will see though. When it rains...it pours!