Things were not hectic today, they were not crazy, but I ate like a mad woman. Seriously no excuse for my behavior today. But thank GOD it is spring break and I have got to do some serious soul searching. The scale has hit an unnacceptable level. If someone could find the common sense hammer and beat me over the head I would appreciate it.
I am also sick of people who say "you don't look like you have gained weight." Yeah...well the scale don't lie and either do my jeans!
My marathon is coming up and if I don't get a move on it I am going to be crapping out at mile 20. GRRRR...pissed off at myself today.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Things have been going pretty well on the food front. I think I have finally found the situation that will work when I am at school. We will have to see. I am sure I look like a pregnant woman (NO I AM NOT PREGO!!!) when I am sitting there eating my cheese sandwiches with pickles! Told you I sounded like a pregnant woman.
Just played in the staff vs. Mr. RHS contestents volleyball game and didn't do half bad. My arms are now bruised up from the volleyball but I had fun. My outfit wasn't as good as it was for the basketball game that we played last month, but it was still a spectacle. I will have to post pictures later.
Well I had best get to bed...just checking in to stay honest!
Just played in the staff vs. Mr. RHS contestents volleyball game and didn't do half bad. My arms are now bruised up from the volleyball but I had fun. My outfit wasn't as good as it was for the basketball game that we played last month, but it was still a spectacle. I will have to post pictures later.
Well I had best get to bed...just checking in to stay honest!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
It has been a long time since I have posted on the blog, basically because my life has been in such turmoil that there was no time, no motivation, and no reason to bog everyone else down in my living hell.
However, things are much better now and I am back on track. Over the last week I have managed to get my food under control, though the sweets are still calling my name. I was never a huge sweets eater prior to surgery, but something changed when I had my tummy tuck. Now I can't get enough of them. It is amazing how quickly the old habits coming rushing back. Though I guess there is no reason for them to not do so. After all, I lived those habits for 20+ years and only have developed the new habits over the last year! Time wins! But I am back to counting and tracking all of my calories and working out like a fiend. So far this week I have done 2 days of 10+ miles and 2 days of 6 miles. Not too bad.
I have the Eugene Marathon coming up on May 3 and I am desperately trying to train for that. I think that I will be alright as long as I make time for myself. This has been the biggest problem over the last several months. Everything and everyone seemed to take priority over me.
DH and I are also training for some major hikes this summer. There are three that we are planning on doing:
1. Hiking the South Sister Mountain
2. Hiking the 2.5 mile hike from Sunrise Lodge to the Summit of Mt. Bachelor
3. A 66 mile hike somewhere near Central Oregon.
Those are the three major hikes that we will be doing, though to train we will be doing several other minor hikes throughout the summer.
Well I am really going to try to make the effort to come back here more often. I miss the inspiration that I get from everyone else!
However, things are much better now and I am back on track. Over the last week I have managed to get my food under control, though the sweets are still calling my name. I was never a huge sweets eater prior to surgery, but something changed when I had my tummy tuck. Now I can't get enough of them. It is amazing how quickly the old habits coming rushing back. Though I guess there is no reason for them to not do so. After all, I lived those habits for 20+ years and only have developed the new habits over the last year! Time wins! But I am back to counting and tracking all of my calories and working out like a fiend. So far this week I have done 2 days of 10+ miles and 2 days of 6 miles. Not too bad.
I have the Eugene Marathon coming up on May 3 and I am desperately trying to train for that. I think that I will be alright as long as I make time for myself. This has been the biggest problem over the last several months. Everything and everyone seemed to take priority over me.
DH and I are also training for some major hikes this summer. There are three that we are planning on doing:
1. Hiking the South Sister Mountain
2. Hiking the 2.5 mile hike from Sunrise Lodge to the Summit of Mt. Bachelor
3. A 66 mile hike somewhere near Central Oregon.
Those are the three major hikes that we will be doing, though to train we will be doing several other minor hikes throughout the summer.
Well I am really going to try to make the effort to come back here more often. I miss the inspiration that I get from everyone else!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
I need motivation
I am struggling big time. I have no time and no motivation. I am working on my second straight 20 hour day, I am eating like shit, and I can't manage to find the time to workout. My weight is fluctuating 6 pounds or so a week. I can't seem to get below 150 and stay there. I have NO will power right now.
I HAVE to start blogging here everyday and keeping myself accountable. However, I seriously don't have time. I am choosing to type here at 10:52 pm instead of either going to bed or finishing the test recovery packet that I need to have done tomorrow.
So far today I have gotten up at 4AM
Went to work at 4:45 AM
Wrote a student notes packet
Made 1000+ copies of all of the packets
Taught all day
Had 2 different meetins during my prep period
Scarfed down my lunch at 9:00AM because I give up my lunch to help students
Had 2 meetings after school
Came home and graded 100+ tests
Wrote a test revision
Ate way too much fucking food
And now I still need to put contact paper on 30 sheets of paper
Write a test recovery packet
And oh yeah...try to get some damn sleep.
I just can't keep doing this. Something has to give and right now it has been exercise and proper eating. I just grab candy to keep me going all day. Yeah...1 year of no junk food and now I am eating like I did before surgery. I know that I have to stop, but I am not certain how I am going to do that.
I have some big decisions to make and some prioritizing to do. And I desperately need to train. I have a half marathon in 1 month!!!!
I HAVE to start blogging here everyday and keeping myself accountable. However, I seriously don't have time. I am choosing to type here at 10:52 pm instead of either going to bed or finishing the test recovery packet that I need to have done tomorrow.
So far today I have gotten up at 4AM
Went to work at 4:45 AM
Wrote a student notes packet
Made 1000+ copies of all of the packets
Taught all day
Had 2 different meetins during my prep period
Scarfed down my lunch at 9:00AM because I give up my lunch to help students
Had 2 meetings after school
Came home and graded 100+ tests
Wrote a test revision
Ate way too much fucking food
And now I still need to put contact paper on 30 sheets of paper
Write a test recovery packet
And oh yeah...try to get some damn sleep.
I just can't keep doing this. Something has to give and right now it has been exercise and proper eating. I just grab candy to keep me going all day. Yeah...1 year of no junk food and now I am eating like I did before surgery. I know that I have to stop, but I am not certain how I am going to do that.
I have some big decisions to make and some prioritizing to do. And I desperately need to train. I have a half marathon in 1 month!!!!
Monday, October 6, 2008
Life can be mean
So just as I start to get back in the swing of things...my mother-in-law dies. It has been a terrible ordeal for the last 2 weeks but the outlook of getting back on track seems to be getting closer. I have lost a few of my "found" pounds but the result of the last couple of weeks have derailed the process a bit.
I am continuing to run and exercise and that helps a bit. I took another bereavement day today in order to catch my breath and get caught up at work. Then hopefully tomorrow I will be back to some sense of normalcy. We will see though. When it rains...it pours!
I am continuing to run and exercise and that helps a bit. I took another bereavement day today in order to catch my breath and get caught up at work. Then hopefully tomorrow I will be back to some sense of normalcy. We will see though. When it rains...it pours!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
SOOOOOOOO close
1 hour 0 minutes and 58 seconds. And I am so damn proud. My first race back and I beat my PR by 20 minutes!!!! It was not as downhill as they claimed however! There were some significant inclines at the beginning of the race.
On another good note...I lost 3 pounds this week and am thankfully below that dreaded 150 pound mark that I had hit.
I am thouroughly exhausted however and am going to sleep so that I can get up EARLY in the morning and get to work to grade projects.
On another good note...I lost 3 pounds this week and am thankfully below that dreaded 150 pound mark that I had hit.
I am thouroughly exhausted however and am going to sleep so that I can get up EARLY in the morning and get to work to grade projects.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Okay...I'm back
I think I am doing better now. Pretty much off the meds and feeling more like myself. I am back posting on LBT.
I went and got a fill yesterday so that should help with being hungry all the time.
As for running... I have my first race tomorrow. It is a 10K that is pretty much all downhill so I am really hoping to run it in under 1 hour. I have been at the gym (or run) everyday this week except once and several of those days I burned over 750 calories.
Feels good to be back!
I went and got a fill yesterday so that should help with being hungry all the time.
As for running... I have my first race tomorrow. It is a 10K that is pretty much all downhill so I am really hoping to run it in under 1 hour. I have been at the gym (or run) everyday this week except once and several of those days I burned over 750 calories.
Feels good to be back!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Meds suck
Okay...not blogging because this medicine is making me not give a shit about anything. Yes...I am trying to get off of it.
School did start and so far...I LOVE MY CLASSES. It is really the only thing I care about.
On that note I am going to bed at 7:30 because I just don't care to do anything else!
School did start and so far...I LOVE MY CLASSES. It is really the only thing I care about.
On that note I am going to bed at 7:30 because I just don't care to do anything else!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Torture...Day 2
Okay, I am supposed to be working with a bunch of highly intelligent adults that are specifically charged with educating our youth. So tell me WHY they would ask these questions during our training on the new phone system.
Q. It says to answer the phone that you can press the speaker button. What if I don't want everyone to hear my conversation.
A. Uhhhhhh...pick up the phone receiver. WHAT AN IDIOT!!!!
Q. SInce our laptops internet connection plugs into our phone does that mean that we still have to charge them with the plug in.
A. Yes. The phone line does not charge your lap top. That requires electricity.WHAT AN IDIOT!
Okay what makes this worse is that it was asked by 2 fellow science teachers. No wonder our country scores so poorly on science testing.
Yep...we will be here all week folks. Tune in for Karri's daily update on the worst week of school. Damn I miss the kids. They are the fun part of the job...most of the time!
Q. It says to answer the phone that you can press the speaker button. What if I don't want everyone to hear my conversation.
A. Uhhhhhh...pick up the phone receiver. WHAT AN IDIOT!!!!
Q. SInce our laptops internet connection plugs into our phone does that mean that we still have to charge them with the plug in.
A. Yes. The phone line does not charge your lap top. That requires electricity.WHAT AN IDIOT!
Okay what makes this worse is that it was asked by 2 fellow science teachers. No wonder our country scores so poorly on science testing.
Yep...we will be here all week folks. Tune in for Karri's daily update on the worst week of school. Damn I miss the kids. They are the fun part of the job...most of the time!
Monday, August 25, 2008
MAKE IT STOP!
So this has NOTHING to do with weightloss, weight gain, lap band or running. So what do I want to stop.
MEETINGS!!!! When I signed on to be a teacher I apparently failed to realize the amount of MEETINGS that I would have to endure.
So what was on agenda today...
1. Breakfast of champions
a. Bagels (can't eat)
b. Muffins (can't and won't eat)
c. Doughnuts (haven't had one in over a year and not starting now!)
d. Bananas (healty but I can't eat them)
e. yogurt (thank goodness finally something that I can eat...though it doesn't keep you full very long!)
2. Rock, Paper, Scissors game. Sorry folks I can't make this stuff up... We played 2 different versions of this game for 20 minutes!
3. Introduction and welcome from administrative staff....At least I got a nap. Damn...missed out on buzz word bingo this year. Though if I had to guess I would say that COMMUNICATION, LISTENING AND COMMUNITY would have been the big three. But I didn't keep track considering that I was looking at the NEW standards that Oregon put out. Yippeee...I just got the old ones perfectly integrated.
4. Lunch - Healthier (salad, BBQ chicken, baked beans, potato salad). C'mon I didn't say UBER healthy...I just said healtier.
5. A recognition of those that have earned a degree in the last year....ummmm good for you, but what about those of us that ALREADY have master's degrees. Guess I graduated in the wrong year!
6. INSURANCE PRESENTATION!!!!! SNORE! Boy we have SHITTY insurance this year. It sucks for those of us that don't go to the doctor very often. We get hit with HUGE deductibles and copayments. I won't start on how much I HATE our union.
7. Are you ready for the most exciting part of the day!!! A 2.5 hour presentation on Sexual Harrassment Prevention. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
So that was my day. 7 AM to 3 PM! Why is it that I teach again????
MEETINGS!!!! When I signed on to be a teacher I apparently failed to realize the amount of MEETINGS that I would have to endure.
So what was on agenda today...
1. Breakfast of champions
a. Bagels (can't eat)
b. Muffins (can't and won't eat)
c. Doughnuts (haven't had one in over a year and not starting now!)
d. Bananas (healty but I can't eat them)
e. yogurt (thank goodness finally something that I can eat...though it doesn't keep you full very long!)
2. Rock, Paper, Scissors game. Sorry folks I can't make this stuff up... We played 2 different versions of this game for 20 minutes!
3. Introduction and welcome from administrative staff....At least I got a nap. Damn...missed out on buzz word bingo this year. Though if I had to guess I would say that COMMUNICATION, LISTENING AND COMMUNITY would have been the big three. But I didn't keep track considering that I was looking at the NEW standards that Oregon put out. Yippeee...I just got the old ones perfectly integrated.
4. Lunch - Healthier (salad, BBQ chicken, baked beans, potato salad). C'mon I didn't say UBER healthy...I just said healtier.
5. A recognition of those that have earned a degree in the last year....ummmm good for you, but what about those of us that ALREADY have master's degrees. Guess I graduated in the wrong year!
6. INSURANCE PRESENTATION!!!!! SNORE! Boy we have SHITTY insurance this year. It sucks for those of us that don't go to the doctor very often. We get hit with HUGE deductibles and copayments. I won't start on how much I HATE our union.
7. Are you ready for the most exciting part of the day!!! A 2.5 hour presentation on Sexual Harrassment Prevention. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
So that was my day. 7 AM to 3 PM! Why is it that I teach again????
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Effexor Sucks
Turns out my food problems ARE a reaction to the Effexor that I am on. Seems that it can cause people to become alcoholics or carboholics. Really I am not making this up. How cruel is it that a bariatric patient is given a medicine that has a side effect that makes them crave sugar.
These are no ordinary cravings though. I know how a recovering alcoholic must feel. Last night I ate sugar right out of the bag because the cravings were so bad that I had the shakes, the sweats, and did everything in my power not to throw up. 2 spoonfuls of sugar and BAM...they were gone.
After thinking back to the last time I was on this medication I realized these were the same symptoms I had before...I just didn't know it was the meds because I had such poor eating habits anyways! I just thought I was eating 5 candy bars a day because I was a fat slob. Turns out a lot of it is my medication.
So after speaking with the doc on the phone today I am going in tomorrow morning so that we can discuss where we go from here. Seriously...I would rather be throwing turkey sausages across the room than go through what I have been going through the last couple of weeks.
These are no ordinary cravings though. I know how a recovering alcoholic must feel. Last night I ate sugar right out of the bag because the cravings were so bad that I had the shakes, the sweats, and did everything in my power not to throw up. 2 spoonfuls of sugar and BAM...they were gone.
After thinking back to the last time I was on this medication I realized these were the same symptoms I had before...I just didn't know it was the meds because I had such poor eating habits anyways! I just thought I was eating 5 candy bars a day because I was a fat slob. Turns out a lot of it is my medication.
So after speaking with the doc on the phone today I am going in tomorrow morning so that we can discuss where we go from here. Seriously...I would rather be throwing turkey sausages across the room than go through what I have been going through the last couple of weeks.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Food = Enemy
I think my meds are screwing me up. Why you ask?
1. I am always starving even when I am full to the point that it hurts to eat any more.
2. I am craving sweets and I am not a sweet eater.
3. My band is tighter than it ever has been and I am still constantly hungry.
So why do I attribute this to my anti-depressant/anxiety meds. Well because this is exactly how I felt during the year before I got banded when I was on it. During that year I packed on a HELL of a lot of pounds and I refuse to do that again.
Now we have to play a game though. I will be working 2 jobs for the first trimester of school (teaching at the high school and at a local university) so I will not have the time or the energy to be obssessed about the calories like I was. So I don't think that I can just go off the meds. But on the other hand I can live with those feelings while I CANNOT live with gaining weight. I have worked too damn hard to go back.
I have a doctor's appt on Friday to discuss this with her. My PCP is fantastic so I have little doubt that she will help me make an informed decision.
Right now that I just have to make sure that I don't eat everything in the house and then start on the exterior. Thank goodness I do have the band. At least the pain and the fear of hurting my band is preventing a lot of overeating.
On another note...does climbing up and down a ladder a minimum of 128 times at school count as taking "it easy on the exercise for the next 2 weeks"?!?!?!
1. I am always starving even when I am full to the point that it hurts to eat any more.
2. I am craving sweets and I am not a sweet eater.
3. My band is tighter than it ever has been and I am still constantly hungry.
So why do I attribute this to my anti-depressant/anxiety meds. Well because this is exactly how I felt during the year before I got banded when I was on it. During that year I packed on a HELL of a lot of pounds and I refuse to do that again.
Now we have to play a game though. I will be working 2 jobs for the first trimester of school (teaching at the high school and at a local university) so I will not have the time or the energy to be obssessed about the calories like I was. So I don't think that I can just go off the meds. But on the other hand I can live with those feelings while I CANNOT live with gaining weight. I have worked too damn hard to go back.
I have a doctor's appt on Friday to discuss this with her. My PCP is fantastic so I have little doubt that she will help me make an informed decision.
Right now that I just have to make sure that I don't eat everything in the house and then start on the exterior. Thank goodness I do have the band. At least the pain and the fear of hurting my band is preventing a lot of overeating.
On another note...does climbing up and down a ladder a minimum of 128 times at school count as taking "it easy on the exercise for the next 2 weeks"?!?!?!
Friday, August 15, 2008
Cooking Frenzy
Okay...I have got to get back into the groove with food. Things are spiraling out of control. Since gaining the 4-5 pounds after surgery I have been able to maintain but I am fighting huge battles.
So I went back to what worked. I cooked meals that will work for breakfast and lunch for the next week. Same foods that I ate when losing. I have to go back to the basics.
So quiche, chili and chicken meatloaf here I come!!!
I found new recipes for us to try for dinner that are healthy and reasonable. I have been eating "soft" foods that are just ignoring the fill in my band. I am eating too many carbs (which I don't need when I am not running!) and not enough of the proteins. It is funny how you can forget...protein, veggies then carbs...even though you have been eating just that way for a year. Funny how making me calorie binge after surgery can erase those memories so stinking fast.
But I plan on reGAINING those memories and LOSING these freaking 5 pounds!!!
So I went back to what worked. I cooked meals that will work for breakfast and lunch for the next week. Same foods that I ate when losing. I have to go back to the basics.
So quiche, chili and chicken meatloaf here I come!!!
I found new recipes for us to try for dinner that are healthy and reasonable. I have been eating "soft" foods that are just ignoring the fill in my band. I am eating too many carbs (which I don't need when I am not running!) and not enough of the proteins. It is funny how you can forget...protein, veggies then carbs...even though you have been eating just that way for a year. Funny how making me calorie binge after surgery can erase those memories so stinking fast.
But I plan on reGAINING those memories and LOSING these freaking 5 pounds!!!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Permission Granted
PS gave me permission to run in the all of the races as long as I promised not to run more than 1 mile per day and no more than 3 times per week for the next two weeks. I can SOOOO hold off running if it means that I can run in three races in the next year. SOOOOO excited!
To Run or Not to Run
So I made the HUGE a$$ mistake of looking at the Portland and Seattle marathon webpages last night. They are a reasonable distance out to participate in some aspect of the running weekend, but close enough that I would have to push myself.
Portland - 5 miler: October 5
Seattle - Half-marathon: November 30
Hmmmm....can I do it? Do I want to push myself that hard?
Answers in order: I don't know and HELL YES!
So I buttered up DH when I asked what he though. He feels confident that I would be ok for the Portland 5 miler but is not so down with the half marathon in Nov. He said he would support it if I got permission from my PS. So I have an appt today with her and I will be begging!!!
My bandiversary was August 9 and what did I do to celebrate??? I ran a 5K with a not to shabby time of 34:32. Not my fastest...not my slowest, but I felt freaking fantastic. I was a little sore that night but I don't know if it was from the running or the painting.
Alright, I will update you on the decision to run when I get back from my appt. Right now I am off to run 2 miles. That is the limit that has been placed on me by DH. He wasn't so happy with the 5K that I ran. He is so afraid that I am going to push myself too hard. Probably a good thing I have him around or I would already be in the throws of marathon training. He keeps me thinking straight.
Portland - 5 miler: October 5
Seattle - Half-marathon: November 30
Hmmmm....can I do it? Do I want to push myself that hard?
Answers in order: I don't know and HELL YES!
So I buttered up DH when I asked what he though. He feels confident that I would be ok for the Portland 5 miler but is not so down with the half marathon in Nov. He said he would support it if I got permission from my PS. So I have an appt today with her and I will be begging!!!
My bandiversary was August 9 and what did I do to celebrate??? I ran a 5K with a not to shabby time of 34:32. Not my fastest...not my slowest, but I felt freaking fantastic. I was a little sore that night but I don't know if it was from the running or the painting.
Alright, I will update you on the decision to run when I get back from my appt. Right now I am off to run 2 miles. That is the limit that has been placed on me by DH. He wasn't so happy with the 5K that I ran. He is so afraid that I am going to push myself too hard. Probably a good thing I have him around or I would already be in the throws of marathon training. He keeps me thinking straight.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Goin' home
Well my former home. I am headed up to see my bro this weekend. He said he took today and tomorrow off from work so that we could spend time together. Translation: Get up here so that you can help me paint my garage and fence.
Chat Monday night!
Chat Monday night!
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Friday, August 1, 2008
EMPLOYMENT!
Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....He got the job. I know some of you wanted to see a picture of DH...so here is my newly employed hubby! It is not a great picture but it will do. I also put one of our wedding pictures up here that is better.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Speed Walker!
15:30 min/mil...yes that is a far cry from my 10:30 before surgery...but we are getting close.
Okay...got a date. AUGUST 7! That is when I can start running. Of course I am supposed to take it slowly...but I get to run. I had to really resist the urge to run tonight since I was walking on my own. However, I was a good girl and only walked. It was nice to finally sweat a little.
On another note I think DH got the job. He actually had 2 interviews today but we should know about the one tomorrow. Sounds very likely. The guy he interviewed just had to clear it with his boss and then will call DH with the start date tomorrow. PLEASE OH PLEASE!!!! If he gets this job I get the girls done sooner!!! It will still be at least a year but it is better than the 2 that I am expecting!
Okay...got a date. AUGUST 7! That is when I can start running. Of course I am supposed to take it slowly...but I get to run. I had to really resist the urge to run tonight since I was walking on my own. However, I was a good girl and only walked. It was nice to finally sweat a little.
On another note I think DH got the job. He actually had 2 interviews today but we should know about the one tomorrow. Sounds very likely. The guy he interviewed just had to clear it with his boss and then will call DH with the start date tomorrow. PLEASE OH PLEASE!!!! If he gets this job I get the girls done sooner!!! It will still be at least a year but it is better than the 2 that I am expecting!
Got a fill!
So I can't really report too much on the fill because I have been on liquids for the last 2 days. For the first time in a long time though it was not painful. Due to the TT, the scar tissue that was sitting on top of the port was moved and we got the needle in on the first try! YEAH. The last time I had to get an unfill we bent a needle. Yes that was VERY painful.
I only got 1cc because 1.4cc was too much. Mine are done under fluoro and we could see how slowly the barium was going through. Besides I told her she HAD to be conservative because my fills seem to tighten up later.
I do seem to not be as hungry though. For the last couple of weeks I have been waking up in the middle of the night and in the morning absolutely STARVING. So far that has not happened since the fill. I have breakfast in front of me right now and I seem to be getting satisfied on 1 turkey sausage and 1 fried egg. Hopefully this is a good sign!
I will hopefully be posting pictures this weekend. Everyone keep their fingers crossed as DH has a job interview again today. We REALLY need him to get this job!
I only got 1cc because 1.4cc was too much. Mine are done under fluoro and we could see how slowly the barium was going through. Besides I told her she HAD to be conservative because my fills seem to tighten up later.
I do seem to not be as hungry though. For the last couple of weeks I have been waking up in the middle of the night and in the morning absolutely STARVING. So far that has not happened since the fill. I have breakfast in front of me right now and I seem to be getting satisfied on 1 turkey sausage and 1 fried egg. Hopefully this is a good sign!
I will hopefully be posting pictures this weekend. Everyone keep their fingers crossed as DH has a job interview again today. We REALLY need him to get this job!
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